Adoration

Adoration today will have me coming out of Our Lady's Cathedral just as John Carroll School is lettiing out. This is the School my boys attended during my struggle to get sober. I've always clung to my sober days, not acknowledging all the damage I did on the drunk days.

In the beginning of sobriety, they told me not to focus on the past. I only have this present moment. One sober breath at a time. And, that's true. But at some point, I have to become spiritually cognizant of the pain I inflicted on those who had to endure my drunkeness and then watch me get sober. Over and over again. Now 7 years sober, it's time for some amends. Sometimes, that means saying I'm sorry. But these days, it's more of an atonement on a spiritual level.

Today, I have the opportunity to sit with Spirit, The Holy Host, for one hour. My first thought was, "What in the world will I do for an hour?"

The second thought was better.

Can I not give one hour to God? An hour of contemplation of the damage I've caused. One hour of petitions for forgiveness from all I have harmed. YES! I say YES!

I believe people hear prayers, or maybe feel them. They soak into the psyche better than if I had asked for forgiveness in person. Many times, due to severity of the damage, leaving my victims alone is the kindest thing I can offer. Today, I offer prayers for all I have harmed. God can reach the unseen places and heal the damage I've done.

Lord, Make Me an Instument of your Peace to all I have harmed and those I have yet to meet.

Amen.

So. Much. Love.

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